 Your nervous system is a super complex network of nerves and specialized cells that governs your movements and takes in sensory information so you can interact with your world. It's constantly transmitting messages to and from your brain.
At one point, doctors and scientists believed that we had little or no control over this system, kind of like breathing or the beat of a heart. It just functions. But, you actually can activate the part of your nervous system that is responsible for resting and regeneration, and that is how you can prevent most chronic issues caused too much stress. A Quick Overview of Your Nervous System The nervous system is made up of a whole bunch of systems, each responsible for a particular job within your body. It's like a hierarchy of systems and at the very top are two components: the central nervous system and the peripheral nervous system. Your central nervous system is made up of your brain and spinal cord and is primarily responsible for coordinating all activity in your body. The peripheral nervous system, includes nerves and groups of neurons, is divided into two parts: the somatic nervous system and the autonomic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system is then broken down into three parts (see, it is a super complex system!): the sympathetic nervous system, the parasympathetic nervous system, and enteric nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system is the one that gets activated when you're stressed or experiencing trauma (the "fight or flight" response). Finally, we get to the good stuff: the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the "rest and digest" response. Your Built-in Resilience The parasympathetic nervous system resets organ function after the sympathetic nervous system is activated (the adrenaline dump you feel after a "fight-or-flight" event). Effects include slowing of heart rate, lowered blood pressure, and stimulation of digestion, all of which helps your body return to homeostasis (a state of balance in the body). This is the power of your parasympathetic nervous system. Studies show that the more you can activate your rest and digest response, the more resilient your body gets in dealing with stressors. Ideally, your sympathetic and parasympathetic systems are meant to function in balance to keep you safe and help you recover from stressful events. Unfortunately, in our "always on" society, we tend to run our sympathetic nervous system ragged. The good news is you can learn how to active your parasympathetic nervous system to build up your resilience muscle. How to Activate Your Parasympathetic Nervous System The easiest and fastest way to activate your built-in resilience system is by breathing but not just any breathing. You need to breathe from your diaphragm or abdominal. To do this, simply put one hand on your belly and breath in. You should feel your belly rise against your hand and when you exhale your belly will fall. The other thing I do when I'm stressed is to breathe using the 4-6-8 method. This will immediately calm down my mind. Try it:
Do this twice and return to your normal breathing pattern. You can also try my guided breathing meditation. Meditation is a great way to activate your parasympathetic nervous system. We could all use more rest and restoration in my opinion!
0 Comments
 Have you ever watched a leaf floating aimlessly in a river or a stream? While that may seem peaceful, imagine if you were that leaf. You'd be carried away by the current with no direction and sometimes you'd get stuck somewhere or even smashed into a rock. This is what it's like when you have no purpose. You move through your days with no zest or meaning.
The Importance of Purpose Purpose is especially important in midlife. At a time when the body is changing and the metabolism is slowing down, purpose actually gives you a physical boost. A study conducted at the University of Michigan, found that people with higher levels of purpose have better physical agility than those who report less purpose. And those people with a sense of purpose were 14 percent less likely to experience physical declines in grip strength and walking speed. Another study at the University of Cambridge found that women who find purpose and meaning in life are less likely to have anxiety. Perhaps that's because no matter what life throws your way, you'll weather stresses better because you have something else to focus on. Searching for Meaning Sometimes it can feel like grasping at the clouds. Or it can feel like a life-long marathon with meandering paths that lead nowhere. In midlife however, it feels urgent. The need to find your true purpose becomes an obsession that pervades almost every decision you make, even what to wear to the grocery store. You're trying to find it before you run out of time. But there is this overriding sense that you still have something to do before you leave this planet, and that's what drives you to continue searching. The Answer is Not What You Think There is no personality test you can take, no book you can read, or no weekend retreat that will give you the answer. I know because I've tried them all and the answer is not what I thought it would be. In fact, the answer is the question. Stay with me, I know this is getting a little like "The Matrix" but hear me out: The question you Google incessantly is "How do I find my purpose in life?" The fact that you are even asking the question means you are on the path. You are aware. Being aware is part of your purpose but there's more... When you are more aware, you are more likely to see things that need your help. The trick is to stay in that awareness WITHOUT the anxiety of not knowing exactly what comes next. Be Aware of What Needs Your Attention Follow the things you feel need your attention. Those are usually the things that you're good at, and when you take action toward those things you begin to feel your purpose. Here's an example from my own life: A friend of mine was experiencing a major upheaval in her career. This caused serious anxiety so much that she needed to take a leave of absence. When I found out, I reached out to her to ask if she wanted to have lunch. I shared with her a time in my life when the same thing happened to me. I had such bad panic attacks that I couldn't leave my house for weeks. We talked and laughed about how bad the anxiety got for both of us. As we were saying goodbye after lunch she asked me when we could meet again because she felt so much better after talking to me. We met for lunch regularly after that. And I felt so good about helping her. Purpose doesn't have to be earth shattering or on a grand scale. It can simply be moments when you feel that you are needed. But you have to get quiet and listen because you could miss it if you don't pay attention. May I suggest trying a short 5-minute meditation? Here's a guided meditation I created. See how you feel after and let me know. I'd love to hear from you! 
If you Google "midlife," the word "crisis" inevitably shows up. The term was first used in a 1965 article by psychologist, Elliot Jaques, when he was describing how adults between the ages of 45-55 grapple with their mortality and the fact that they have less time to accomplish their goals and desires. But, we've come a long way since then and our midlife today is light years away from midlife then, right?
Definition of a Crisis A full-blown crisis is typically characterized by an intense period of trouble or danger and it can also be when a difficult decision must be made. Midlife isn't really a time of danger, unless you're a stunt person or have a dangerous job. And there isn't really a difficult decision you need to make during this time, unless you're dealing with a health scare or some other major life event like the loss of a loved one or the loss of a job. The crisis that Jaques was outlining where someone between the ages of 45-55 purchases a turbo sports car or leaves a stable marriage for a younger person, is not actual typical. Midlife Does Have It's Lows In the book, Life Reimagined: The Science, Art, and Opportunity of Midlife, author Barbara Bradley Hagerty does say that midlife can certainly be a low point in most of our lives. She talks to experts in psychology and aging who point to a U-shaped happiness curve of human well-being: Arthur Stone, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral science at Stony Brook University, surveyed nearly 350,000 Americans, breaking down well-being into positive and negative feelings. They found that short-term happiness peaks at age twenty, dips in midlife, and then peaks again around age seventy. When they asked about stress levels, people reported stress rising from age twenty-two, but then falling off after age fifty. The same is true of sadness and worry: They peak at midlife, and then, mysteriously, people become more cheerful and relaxed. In other words, positive emotions increase, and negative ones decrease, creating a “net” happiness gain after one’s middle years. (Page 28). I even conducted an informal poll on Facebook asking my friends and people I associate with in groups (who are women between the ages of 45-60), if they felt like they were having a crisis. The overwhelming response was, no. So the question isn't so much about how you survive a midlife crisis because that's not really the case. The question is: how are you responding to the stressors and the inevitable dip in happiness? What Midlife is Really About If you find yourself asking more questions like, "What do I really want? Where am I going? What is my real purpose and what if I never find it? " You're not having a midlife crisis. You are trying to find meaning. Your search for meaning probably began a long time ago but before you were busy. Meaning becomes much more acute because there's less time available than there was when you were younger. It's about re-examining your life and discovering what is important and spending your time doing more of that, if possible. The way you think about this phase has a lot to do with it. Seeing it as an opportunity instead of a drop off is the way to find more meaning and happiness. Also, being thankful for what you have and stopping the endless pursuit of what you don't have. Find the precious things in your life and cling to them. You have a choice in how you experience midlife. What choice are you making? 
Imagine, for a second, what would happen at your job, your home, and with your family if you decided to just quit everything.
How long would it take before things fell apart? Not long, I bet. You’re probably the key reason why things run smoothly. The linchpin. The cornerstone. So why do women often undervalue what we do? You probably worry that people won’t like you, that you’ll be seen as too pushy, or that your work should speak for itself...which is why you don’t take up the space you deserve. I know because I’ve done this for most of my life. And...I’m done. I'm done with being overly accommodating and self-deprecating because I've learned from nearly two decades in my career that it doesn't get me anywhere. I've left tons of money on the table by accepting initial job offers simply because I felt "honored" they wanted me. No one is going to negotiate for me. I've got to do it. At home, I used to make sure that everyone had what they needed before I'd take care of myself. A lot of women do this naturally but there are men who do it too. Now that my kids are teenagers, I don't need to be the full-time caretaker so much because frankly, they take advantage of mom doing the laundry, making their lunches, or running errands for them. It was exhausting...plus, it's a perfect opportunity for them to learn how to adult. So, I’m owning my worth—and here's how you can too:
|