​No, I'm not talking about the coronavirus. I'm talking about another epidemic that 3 out of 5 Americans suffer from every day.  The problem is worse among older Americans: 43% claim they are suffering. 

What is this epidemic? Loneliness.

Connected Yet Isolated
Ironically, as technology has become more connected than ever we seem to be feeling disconnected and isolated. As we get older, we also seem to become more isolated than ever. Experts say that loneliness and social isolation have been estimated to shorten a person’s life by 15 years, equivalent in impact to being obese or smoking 15 cigarettes per day.

Loneliness and Depression: A Vicious Cycle 
Depression and loneliness are often intertwined. One study found that loneliness functions as both a symptom of depression and a predictor of depression. Loneliness can trigger feelings of depression and depression can create feelings of isolation. As the time moves on, feelings of loneliness increase and symptoms of depression increase. Although this loop can feel impossible to break, there are some things you can do to get out of it.

Reach Out Even If It's Hard
Learning how to build stronger connections with others, how to communicate more effectively, and even how to see yourself in a more positive light can make a real difference.

The key is building real connections in person with real people. Having 200K friends on social media is not going to help. The best place to start is with the existing relationship you have now. It can be hard to to make the first move, especially if you've drifted away from people but making that effort will be worth it in the long run. Start with something easy, like an email or text just reaching out to say, "Hey, been thinking about you. Would love to get together sometime soon."

Talk About Loneliness: More People Should
The first step toward dealing with a problem is admitting that it's a problem. Hardly anyone talks about being lonely. That's because our society values the strong, individual willing to go it alone to be successful. But, we need people. We're wired that way. We need more people willing to go against the stigma that feeling lonely is weak or only something losers experience. I feel lonely many times being an entrepreneur working by myself. There, I said it. You can too.

Be Kind to Yourself
Getting rid of negative self-talk can go a long way toward combatting loneliness. Make an effort to catch negative thoughts and replace them with a positive message. By beating yourself up, you add fuel to fire because not only are you missing out on social connections you're also creating a hostile relationship with yourself. This takes practice, but it can significantly improve your life.

Do you feel lonely? What do you do to get out of it? I'd love to hear from you. And remind you that you're not alone. Many of us feel lonely too but we can get through it together. 

Your nervous system is a super complex network of nerves and specialized cells that governs your movements and takes in sensory information so you can interact with your world. It's constantly transmitting messages to and from your brain. 

​At one point, doctors and scientists believed that we had little or no control over this system, kind of like breathing or the beat of a heart. It just functions.

​But, you actually can activate the part of your nervous system that is responsible for resting and regeneration, and that is how you can prevent most chronic issues caused too much stress.

A Quick Overview of Your Nervous System
The nervous system is made up of a whole bunch of systems, each responsible for a particular job within your body. It's like a hierarchy of systems and at the very top are two components: the central nervous system and the peripheral nervous system. ​Your central nervous system is made up of your brain and spinal cord and is primarily responsible for coordinating all activity in your body. The peripheral nervous system, includes nerves and groups of neurons, is divided into two parts: the somatic nervous system and the autonomic nervous system. 

The autonomic nervous system is then broken down into three parts (see, it is a super complex system!): the sympathetic nervous system, the parasympathetic nervous system, and enteric nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system is the one that gets activated when you're stressed or experiencing trauma (the "fight or flight" response). Finally, we get to the good stuff: the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the "rest and digest" response. 

Your Built-in Resilience 
The parasympathetic nervous system resets organ function after the sympathetic nervous system is activated (the adrenaline dump you feel after a "fight-or-flight" event). Effects include slowing of heart rate, lowered blood pressure, and stimulation of digestion, all of which helps your body return to homeostasis (a state of balance in the body). This is the power of your parasympathetic nervous system. 

Studies show that the more you can activate your rest and digest response, the more resilient your body gets in dealing with stressors. 

Ideally, your sympathetic and parasympathetic systems are meant to function in balance to keep you safe and help you recover from stressful events.  Unfortunately, in our "always on" society, we tend to run our sympathetic nervous system ragged. The good news is you can learn how to active your parasympathetic nervous system to build up your resilience muscle. 

How to Activate Your Parasympathetic Nervous System
The easiest and fastest way to activate your built-in resilience system is by breathing but not just any breathing. You need to breathe from your diaphragm or abdominal. To do this, simply put one hand on your belly and breath in. You should feel your belly rise against your hand and when you exhale your belly will fall.
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​The other thing I do when I'm stressed is to breathe using the 4-6-8 method. This will immediately calm down my mind. Try it:

• Inhale to the count of 4 (Not using Mississippi in between numbers)
• Hold your breath and count to 6
• Exhale and count to 8

Do this twice and return to your normal breathing pattern. 

You can also try my guided breathing meditation. Meditation is a great way to activate your parasympathetic nervous system. We could all use more rest and restoration in my opinion!