How many times in your life have you thought to yourself, "I have no idea what I'm doing?" 

If you are a human being, and I'm assuming you are, you probably have thought this more than one time. But we rarely hear people say this out loud. And the higher up you go in the world, saying these words is like uttering Voldemort's name...it shall not be said. 

I am usually the first to admit that I don't know what I'm doing. In fact, I'll even say that I'm scared about my career shift from a stable (yet boring) industry to the holistic wellness industry. But I will also say that I'm confident in my decision and the process of growth. 

The truth is no one has life figured out no matter how things may look from the outside. And if they say they do then that's usually a good indicator that they really don't. 

It's okay to not know what you're doing. It's not okay however, to be stuck in that space. Let me explain. 

You may be in a job you hate, a relationship that's unhealthy, or a behavior pattern that doesn't get the results you want. And you see all the negative things that support what you think: "See there's evidence that I have no idea what I'm doing." You may want something different but you don't know what to do because you want a guarantee that it's going to work.

There are no guarantees.

But there are new revelations and discoveries that could lead to something better. The only way to make those revelations and discoveries is by doing something different. So you need to take action. 

Update your resume and send it out to your contacts. Take a break from an unhealthy relationship. Realize that you need to change your behavior to get different results. 

You may not know what you're doing but you don't ever have to stay stuck. All you need to do is be brave enough to do something different. 

That's exactly what I'm doing right now, and you can too. 

Imagine, for a second, what would happen at your job, your home, and with your family if you decided to just quit everything.

How long would it take before things fell apart? Not long, I bet. You’re probably the key reason why things run smoothly. The linchpin. The cornerstone.
So why do women often undervalue what we do?

​You probably worry that people won’t like you, that you’ll be seen as too pushy, or that your work should speak for itself...which is why you don’t take up the space you deserve. I know because I’ve done this for most of my life. And...I’m done.

I'm done with being overly accommodating and self-deprecating because I've learned from nearly two decades in my career that it doesn't get me anywhere. I've left tons of money on the table by accepting initial job offers simply because I felt "honored" they wanted me. No one is going to negotiate for me. I've got to do it.
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At home, I used to make sure that everyone had what they needed before I'd take care of myself. A lot of women do this naturally but there are men who do it too. Now that my kids are teenagers, I don't need to be the full-time caretaker so much because frankly, they take advantage of mom doing the laundry, making their lunches, or running errands for them. It was exhausting...plus, it's a perfect opportunity for them to learn how to adult.
So, I’m owning my worth—and here's how you can too:
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• Make a list of everything you're good at and take the time to really “own” each one. You may think organization skills or follow up is not all that valuable but let me tell you, I rarely see people do it. Yet, it's absolutely needed to ensure that projects or initiatives succeed. I'm good at those things, and my employer and boss need to see the results from my work so, I tell them about it. Many people undervalue what they do to raise kids or manage a home. These skills are transferrable to the workplace! 

• Be conscious of times when you undervalue yourself. Do people compliment you on a job well done and you say something like, “Oh, it was no big deal.” If so, you're undervaluing yourself without even knowing it. Instead, say, “Thank you," and leave it at that. Don't downplay your contributions whether you're at work or at home. I want you to try this—believe me, you’ll see a difference immediately.
• Ask for what you deserve, whether it’s more money or even more time to do what you need to do. I used to overcommit on project deadlines, kill myself to get it done, and never complain...well, people ended up expecting me to do MORE! Sound like you? Don't try to get ahead in your career by pleasing demanding people. Because you can't make everyone happy. Simply do what you do well and ask for what you need to do the job. Guess what? This works at home too.
• Speak up when you feel strongly about the best way to accomplish a goal. I used to just nod my head and follow more assertive personalities even though I knew there was a better way. If you’re confident in your solution, don’t go with the flow. Give reasons why the goal may be better accomplished by considering another strategy that you've seen work and give examples of it working.

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Since I've been implementing these changes, I've seen that the majority of people I work with, and my family, respect me for owning my value. Is it time for you to do the same?